Clutch 33-2016: Extra Innings

Mr. Clutch’s last blog post ramble on about “The End” and the excitability about going on a virtual vacation from baseball, blogging and maybe some other things that start with a “B”. Well, that was as short-lived as the executive career of that Pope that got poisoned. Mr. Clutch speaks is back for extra innings! The Ali-like return to the ring is partially because it’s hard to get away from something one likes doing and partially because there is more to report.

First, and quickly, two of the Clutch top-10 movies are referenced in the above paragraph. You are challenged to figure out what movies they are. The guess from Clutch laboratories is that a few of you (maybe one) will get one of the two, nobody will get both of the two and likely most will get none. Many movie references are name dropped into these blogs – but it’s rare to see two in the same paragraph. Feel free to leave a comment with your guess(es). There is a third bonus question – which there is 100% certainty that nobody will guess the answer to – even if you guess the two movies. There is an actor who played a very small supporting role in both films. Guess that and you will be deemed as almost as film critic worthy as Mr. Clutch himself.

The hard to get away part is tied more to writing than it is baseball. The Clutch creative writing division has many works in different stages of development. First, there is “Paranoid”, the critically acclaimed book published back in 2001. It’s available at amazon.com and more info is available there and on paranoidbook.com. “Paranoid” was put in front of a Hollywood producer back in the day and was almost optioned to become a major motion picture. It was also Pulitzer prize eligible in 2001 and ranked high on amazons book sales listing in the first quarter of 2002. It makes a perfect Christmas gift, and the author himself will sign any purchased copies and offer a 90-day “Answer” period where he will respond directly to a reader who has questions about the content.

Other books in the Clutch pipeline include “Year on the Felt” which documented a complete calendar year of Clutch’s poker play, and include much insight, philosophy and good stories about wins and losses. It’s in the editing stage at the moment. Then there’s “Hill 260” (working title) which is a non-fiction look at Clutch’s old man’s frontline experience in World War II. The content was strung together through interviews and research. This one is partially done, but mostly still in a virtual state. This one is probably a little more destined to be a movie than “Paranoid” and will likely star Ben Affleck as the current Mr. Clutch and Tom Hanks as his old man. Hopefully this will be coming soon to a theater near you.

The last work in the archives is this. It’s certainly the poster boy of a “Work in progress” as this group of blog posts is the skeleton or outline of the next great book on baseball. It’s pretty simple in that the 33+ blog posts will be chapters, and the current content of each blog post is the outline. All that needs to be done now is beef up each chapter by adding 3-7 pages of content to what’s there now. The end result will be a 300+ page book on the baseball adventures and thoughts of Mr. Clutch. Yes, writing a book *is* sort of kind of that easy.

The other reason for the extra frame is that Mr. Clutch himself stepped onto the diamond for the big annual wiffleball tournament held over in Jackson. It’s the one time of year that instead of speaking and writing that actual doing goes on. It’s a great day of fun, food, booze, banter and of course the kids American pastime “Wiffle-Ball”. Wiffle-ball perhaps was the easiest way for two friends or enemies to play the closest thing to baseball with a yellow plastic bat and white ball with holes in it as the equipment needed. A garage door would usually come in handy along with a pole or tree to indicate boundaries.

The annual pilgrimage to Jackson gives each of the 32 adults a periscope look back into the past. It’s a few hours of trying to do your best despite physical and aged limitations, when back in the day as a kid with a rubber arm and unbridled enthusiasm doing your best was just a day in the office. A player leaves all his problems at home that day and focuses solely on throwing strikes, banging out home runs and having the time of his life. This particular tournament has been going on for around 15 years with Mr. Clutch being a participant for around the past eight or so.

The tournament, which incidentally is what it’s called, is like the NCAA basketball March Madness in that many “Teams” are invited though only a handful of those signed up actually have a chance to win. For every Kentucky and Louisville in the tournament there are many Belmonts, Murray States and Iona’s. Unfortunately, and despite the abilities as a youth, Mr. Clutch represents East Tennessee State and not North Carolina.

The tournament is stacked with phenomenal athletes and ballplayers. Let’s see, for starters there is former Major League baseball player with 9 years as a pro and World Series ring. Then there is the guy who played AA ball for the Met’s before becoming an agent. And let’s not forget the pitcher who played college ball and the infielder who represented Italy in the World Baseball classic. Once guy spent many years as the Met’s bullpen catcher, which though you are an “employee” and not a “player” on the team, it’s still a position reserved for a great athlete who maybe was just a hair shy of being good enough to play on the team. There are also many “Amateurs” in this thing who throw gas, hit for power and make the wiffleball dance in the wind before reaching the batter’s box. It’s just too much for a guy who once, but no longer, has it to overcome.

The playing area is set up with four perfectly manicured and designed fields. This includes a plank of wood with a hole in it for the strike-zone, chalk fair lines down first and third, a home run fence literally made out of fence material, and lastly beautifully erected fair poles (thanks Tim McCarver otherwise they would be referred to as “Foul” poles) out in left and right field. The distance from the mound to home is the industry standard for wiffle-ball, with the final touch being a set of carefully thought out rules for the first round point system. 16 make it out alive after four games, and then from that point on its head to head games just like the old days. The day works its way down to two players – who play for the title.

Though winning the tournament and getting to sign the professional baseball bat in sharpie and carry it for a year “Stanley Cup” style is the goal, there is nothing out there better than just the feel, smell and overall excitement associated with stepping into the batter’s box or on the mound for the first of many times that day. Of course that great way of it gets reversed the next day (or two) when the elders are typically in pain from head to toe due to using muscles that laid dormant for close to 12 months. The pain, extreme at times and lasts longer the older a player gets, is well worth it’s safe to say that none of the 32 would ever give up that day regardless of the physical price paid.

Clutch 32-2016: This Is the End

“This Is the End” is a couple of things. The title, like some others of these blog posts, has been named after a movie or event. In this case it was the movie starring the modern day brat pack which was a humorous and pretty R rated look at the apocalypse. That’s not exactly or remotely close to what this is about – but a funny title nonetheless. It’s really about the end of a long journey. It was a journey that started in February and ended on a cool November Sunday. It was the marathon, and ironically on the day of the New York City marathon, of the baseball season.

Mr. Clutch is exhausted and looking very much towards taking a few days off before it gets started up again. Hurt feet, bags under the eyes and just general tiredness have all been experienced from the day to day labor associated with the Major League Baseball season. All this noted and filed by a person who didn’t step foot on a field, make a throw or have a single plate appearance during the whirlwind season.  It’s all the other baseball activities, including a new one that was added this year, which lent itself to this happy day or the end.

Likely sprinkled in over some previous blogs, Clutch of many ages has participated in the same fantasy baseball league (called Rotisserie baseball back then) since 1988. Yup, that’s 29 years of competing year in and year out against the same guys. Naturally some new teams came in, old teams went out, and it’s believed that one original team owner died of old age. But, the core teams have been together since then. Most probably know that running a baseball team, unlike fantasy football, is an everyday job with a focus required all the time. For those that want to win at this, it starts way before the season does and never really ends.

Team Clutch has been famous for “Discovering” players who at the time of being first fantasy drafted were an unknown that quickly became a household name. This is done through excessive research and development, most of which is worked on during the off season. Studying play in the domestic fall leagues and international winter leagues is where it starts.  Following players from rookie ball through the various single to multiple “A” levels of the minors is also a requirement to successfully make these discoveries. The Internet, invented after Clutch’s league was formed, has made it a little easier, but at the same time made it harder since it has generated more information and data to analyze.

The first such discovery was a scrawny kid coming up in the Atlanta organization in the late 80s. He became the Braves regular second baseman his rookie year – and did what the prototype at that position didn’t do back then – crack 20 homeruns and steal 20 bases. Power and speed is an all-out fantasy stud, and it’s a super-stud when you draft him for close to nothing (The league was an auction, not pick dract).  After that he switched to the outfield and was a staple to hit 30 homers and 30 steals a season. Being in or close to the 30-30 club was a top gem in the fantasy world. His name was Ron Gant. The name probably rings a bell to you now – but unlikely back in 1988 when his career started as a nobody. The dynamic and outgoing player, now well retired, co-hosts a TV talk show back in Atlanta.

It’s this type of hard-work and dedication that leads to a winning fantasy baseball team. Again, it starts way before the season starts and continues day in and day out during the season and after. The in-season discoveries are sometimes as valuable as or greater than the ones done pre-season. Two in-season studs that come to mind are both from the Cubs franchise. The first was the great Kerry Wood. Clutch snagged him after his first career start and had him on an active roster literally hours before Wood pitched one of the best games in Major League History. Kerry threw a complete game one-hitter (bunt single) with no walks and 20 strikeouts. He was 7 strikeouts and one less hit away from the ultimate perfect game.

The other Cubs gem found in the May timeframe was a current stud that everyone likely knows by the name of Jake Arrieta. Jake has only thrown a couple of no-hitters in the first few years of his past, now and future illustrious career. He joined the Clutch team in 2014 after he was a castaway from the Baltimore Orioles, and a “Throw in” in a trade to the Cubs. There were many other great finds over the couple of decades of this fantasy baseball life. Too many to name or discuss, most of which are past retirement age now. Mark Grace (also a Cub!), Pedro J., Chipper Jones and David Wright are a few worthy of bragging about.

The other baseball item of note, besides fantasy baseball, which has kept the Clutch camp extremely busy and in dire need of a “Vacation” is the addition of this. The this is what you are reading right now, and was mid-season named as “Clutch Speaks”. Adding that to an already full plate was challenging and fun at the same time., It’s the now 33 blogs that were thought up, researched, written, critiqued and posted during the course of the season.  All in that’s a lot of words.

Writing 33 blogs over the course of seven or eight month might not seem “Hard”, but try coming up with 33 different topics to discuss over one subject matter – which in this case is baseball. Every post needed to be unique, interesting and somehow tie to a current baseball event or have something to do with Mr. Clutch’s long baseball history. It got harder and harder as the season went on. Delivering great and fresh content week after week seemed like an eternity because it was.

Both blogging and following a kid who is currently playing in Rancho Cucamonga (A real baseball fan will know what this is) is just flat out exhausting and requires an official break. The itch and need to continue on both of those fronts will be just around the corner. Until then team Clutch is on vacation, will enjoy a little time off, and for the here and now: “This Is the End”. 

Clutch 31-2016: I Love Cheaters

Let’s first clear up the title of this blog. It’s not what you may think and it’s unlikely you would be able to guess it with 10 or 100 guesses. Mr. Clutch actually despises cheating, especially when it comes to blatant breaking of a law. Where the title comes from is while on one of the patented Clutch annual baseball pilgrimages a member of the Wolfpack noticed a women strolling down Margret Corbin Drive (Yes, that’s a real street) wearing a hat that bared that phrase. Since the topic of this blog is cheating and baseball – it seemed like a good fit.

It’s obvious that is “Cheating” occurs in every business in some faucet or another. Perhaps it’s something light like fudging numbers on a tax return or faking the original retail price on a factory outlet sale item. Sometimes it’s worse like stealing all of a customer’s money or cutting a corner that puts the public in danger. Cheating happens on a personal level all the time too. But – people who cheat on something individually usually don’t do it to perform better or work….or maybe they do?

To quote one of the movies on the Mr. Clutch all time roster: “The Firm”, Avery Tolar played by the immortal Gene Hackman described cheating well. He said something like “The difference between tax
avoidance and tax evasion is…” with multiple choice answers. Some of the answers were “Whatever the IRS (or powering body) says”, “A smart lawyer” or “10 years in prison”. The last option was “All of the above”.  Let’s take a look at that and convert this to baseball terminology.

Certain rules of the game are “Grey” area which means how they are interrupted, or in some cases their non-existence and non-assumption, is “Avoiding” versus “Evasion”.  The IRS is of course the baseball commissioner who can decide what is and isn’t a rule and also if a player broke one or not.  The smart lawyer is either the player or his representation trying to get around a rule. The 10 years in prison is a suspension if you get caught and then the commissioner determines that you indeed broke the law.

First there are the clear grey area items which the Clutch fact finding commission has determined is not really cheating, but more like taking advantage. “Stealing” signs from second base for example is something that is probably more unsportsmanlike than cheating. If a runner is on second base and can clearly see the next pitch battery signs of catcher instructions to pitcher, then it’s just something that’s out there. The runner has the option of reporting this information to the batter, and that’s probably where it gets grey. Now, stealing the team’s playbook prior to the game to gain the signs (cue Greg Brady) is a totally different story.  

Mr. Clutch’s long-time sensei, the late great Grandmaster John Kuhl, would often use the phrase “Steal with your eyes”, which somewhat correlates to the above notion of stealing a sign from the field. What Master Kuhl meant was that if you are preparing for a physical altercation with someone use the visuals around you to gain an advantage. How a person stands, clinches a fist and motions his body can easily determine his next move – just like in baseball.  When class wasn’t practicing sign stealing the students weren’t busy learning how to break necks and avoid being thrown off a rooftop.

Pitchers cheated all the time back in the day, and it seems to be something that has tapered off in recent years. There is that famous pre-cellphone camera footage of one of the Niekro brothers tossing a nail file off the mound into the grass before getting busted. It was Gaylord Perry who was infamous for throwing the “Spitball”. Scuffing or altering the ball in anyway gives the pitcher a clear unnatural advantage. Most recently (probably a few years ago) a Yankees pitcher got tosses for having some sort of grease on his glove. This is all cheating plain and simple.

Yes, returning back to the movies to find the gem when pitcher Eddie Harris in “Major League” gives the speech that describes it all. “Crisco, Bardahl, Vagisil. Any one of 'em will give you another 2-3 inches drop on your curve ball”. Apparently he used these substances to get his nose running so he could put snot on the ball. It was paying homage to the old pitchers named above who cut corners to get outs.

Hitters are not immune to cheating in the modern game. They are infamous for doing whatever they can to make the ball go farther and faster off the bat. The most common type is “Corking” the bat. This is simply coring out the meaty part of the bat where most contact is made and filling it with cork or any other rubbery bouncy type substance.  One of the most recent and more publicized version of this was when Sammy Sosa’s bat exploded when he grounded out that one faithful afternoon. He likely blamed it on the batboy.

Then there was the much ado about nothing famous George Brett pine-tar play. Long story short, Brett had 1” of extra pine-tar going up the handle of the bat which was noticed by manager Billy Martin. Brett hit a go-ahead home run in the 9th inning of that game versus the Yankees, but was declared out by the umpire when the measured the pine-tar and noticed it was illegal. As crazy as it sounds, the Royals protested the game and won! The commissioner (IRS) declared that though it was against the rules, it wasn’t done to gain unfair advantage in batting. The pine-tar clearly wouldn’t affect the distance or speed the ball would travel.

In closing, it wasn’t an accident that steroids, human growth hormones, Adderall, poppy seeds and other illegal substances weren’t mentioned here. That’s a subject that will be addressed in its own era.