All professional sports today deal with “Fighting” in different
ways.
The absolute best set of rules is in the NBA where if you leave
the bench during an on-court incident you are suspended. Case closed. No
appeal. Mr. Clutch is very familiar with the rule from second hand experience
of watching the rule take the NY Knicks out of the 1997 playoffs. In that case
five (5) star players from the team were suspended in game 6 of a 7 game
series. It’s notable that the Knicks had a 3-2 game lead, and lost both games 6
and 7 due to the suspension. It’s also notable that most of the players
suspended (specifically the great Patrick Ewing) simply stood up at half court
and watched. No punches thrown, no aggression, just standing around cost the
Knicks a playoff series win.
The absolute worst set of rules is in the MLB – where WWE style
“fugazi” fighting is allowed. Note that the Clutch team specifically left NHL
out of the discussion since fighting is actually real and is somewhat part of
the game.
In a typical MLB melee, it usually starts with two players
having issues and one of the two deciding to take the law into his own hands.
Normally, the pitcher on team “A” beans hitter on team “B”. This could have
been on purpose or just a slip of the pitch. It’s always an unknown and never
confirmed one way or the other. The unwritten law of this immature sport is
that a pitcher on team “B” retaliates by beaning a hitter on team “A”. That
hitter is usually selected at random and just collateral damage.
Then the excitement or should I say entertainment starts. The
two players, who technically have nothing to do with the issue, charge at each
other and being some weird version of fighting. The start is usually the hitter
trying to barrel through the pitcher with his head down and a waist level grab.
The pitcher then takes a feminine type swing with his baseball glove, hitting
the batter in the back. They then fall to the ground and roll around for a
while like a bad reality TV show.
The next unwritten, and equally ridiculous, rule is that both
benches completely clear and enter the squared circle, or diamond in this case.
The 25 or so players on the field don’t actually do anything except surround
the Gladiators. They try to give the impression that they are doing something
like the famous “You better stop me before I hit that guy” phrase said from
someone sitting down. It reminds me of a fun wedding where two people dance in
the middle of a wide circle of friends and family.
The last and most embarrassing part of these rumbles is when the
bullpen doors swing open from deep in the outfield. Mr. Clutch actually enjoys
watching this part of the show. In short, a bunch of overweight out of shape
middle relievers come piling out of the bullpen like clowns out of a
Volkswagen. The best part is that most of them run out of steam way before they
reach anywhere near the infield, and end up huffing and puffing bent over with
hands on their knees. In addition to not having a chance to contribute to the
melee, they don’t even get to see it as they are too busy grasping for air.
Yeah, when the umpires finally break it up a couple of players
are kicked out of the game. But that’s usually where the punishment ends. Who
cares? Sometimes they throw in a $10,000 fine. Again, who cares? Once in a blue
moon a player gets “Suspended”. It’s in quotes, because with the strength of
the players union the suspension will be appealed to some point in the future
that never seems to come. None of those sentences will ever prevent MLB players
from getting in a future fight.
An open letter to the brass at MLB: Please either enforce real
punishment for fighting, something in the ballpark (no pun intended) of what
the NBA does, or at least let the players really go at it like in the
NHL. The way it works now is just silly.
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