The
term "Suspended" is usually prefaced or refaced by something not so
good. Candidates "Suspend" their campaign, which is Sputnik for they
quit. Kids get "Suspended" from school for starting a hallway fight
(Sorry Mr. Tesler, it really wasn't my fault). And of course pretty boy
baseball players get "Suspended" for all sorts of things. Yes, they
are pretty boys - because the suspensions are a joke in the real world. Maybe
they mean something over in fantasy-land.
For starters, no pun
intended, how many times have you seen this scenario? Pitcher "A"
throws and hits Batter "A". Pitcher "B" throws and hits
Batter "B". The penalty? One or both of the starting pitchers face a
3 game suspension. The joke part? Under normal circumstances the game-plan is
for them to sit on the pine for the next four games until their next turn in
the rotation is up. So, basically the crime was committed with absolutely no
justice.
Or, how about the
fugazi appeal? We all remember the dirty Chase Utley play. In the playoffs he
bulldozes in an acre away from the base and breaks a guys leg. MLB acts on it
right away with a multiple-game suspension. Great. Justice served. The Dodgers
will be without a player, albeit not a key cog, for the rest of the playoffs!
Sorry Charlie. Utley appeals, and the goons over at MLB can't see to get
together to hear the appeal on a timely basis. Result? Un gotz. Three months
later on a snowy day MLB quietly dismisses the case.
The reason for all
this suspenseful chatter is yet another bogus penalty seen on the evening news.
Former Met Jose Reyes gets locked up for beating up his wife in Hawaii during
the off season. Just another case of a guy who has everything and is trying to
throw it all away. Pending police charges, MLB suspends Jose
"Indefinitely". Finally they did the right thing. So I thought. Jose
is suspended "With Pay", which means he is being rewarded for his
actions. He did not need to report to spring training and workout in the heat.
Instead he stayed in his air-conditioned villa watching Judge shows. Now that
the real police dropped the charges, MLB has to figure out what they are going
to do. My guess? Nothing.
To give MLB a little
bit of credit, they do have real punishments for the apparently more important
stuff like steroid use. 50 games, then 100, then you are out for good. Hold
please. That's after ignoring it and allowing it to happen for a decade. A
decade in which ballparks filled up and we literally watched ballplayers get
bigger before our eyes. PEDs would be available in locker-room vending machines
today if some of the those big name players didn't get caught with their pants
down (literally in the case of players injecting in the buttocks).
Dear MLB brass. Cut it
ought. Tell the players union to take a hike. Their clients get paid millions
to hit a ball. Punish them by taking away their money. And not those $10,000
fines which is 10 cents to the average American. Big money fines that need to
go to charity. Incidentally - nobody knows where the fine money goes now.
Probably their steak luncheons, hunting and fishing trips, corporate jets and
golden parachutes. How about helping someone for a change.
In closing, here's a
riddle....How do you keep a dorky baseball fan in suspense? Answer: I'll tell
you next week.
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